fialleril: [Hades and Persephone] (katabasis)
Third of my drabbles for [livejournal.com profile] frostbit_sky, and this one also got out of hand. I blame tricksters.

Title: normalcy
Characters: Anabasis!verse Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan
Timeframe: AU of Anabasis, set after anything that's happened in the fic so far, but not too much
Rating: G
Prompt: Anabasis!Anakin is released from prison for a day and he and Padmé paint the apartment and cook, trying to have some normalcy.
Notes: Unfortunately for everyone involved, Anakin's definition of "normalcy" includes trolling Obi-Wan. Also, it is worth noting that Padmé may very well know more than she is letting on.

normalcy. 400 words. )
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (Ashla)
Because "Assassin" goes offline tomorrow, we gonna do this tonight. So, below the cut are some spoilerific reviews/snark sessions about the Clone Wars episodes "Assassin" and "Evil Plans." With bonus spoilers for "Hunt for Ziro"!

(Spoiler: Already I think that second title is ridiculously lulzy. Whether this is a good or a bad thing remains to be seen.)

Here there be spoilers. )
fialleril: [Mama always said they were trouble] (dead boys bearing fruit)
But I'm not feeling it tonight. So instead, feast your eyes on this:



I'm pretty sure this is the most accurate depiction of Hades ever produced. He is a giant ridiculous dweeb.

(He pays Hollywood types to cast him as a badass villain in an effort to combat this reputation, but none of the other gods are falling for it. When he shows up at parties the other gods are like, "LOL, nice movie dweeb." :( But it's okay 'cause Persephone is a badass goddess who likes dweeby dudes.)

Now in case you are wondering, "Fia, what is this incredibly amazing thing you have found? No, seriously, what is it?" I will tell you! Apparently they are writing Greek mythology based teen lit these days! Here is an Amazon link!

I admit I'm dubious as to the quality (lol you saw that cover right?), but at the same time, I am kind of tempted! (I mean, you did see the cover!)
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (Sherlock Holmes)
What's this? A fanfic for a fanfic? Is it a Holmes fanfic or a Barrie fanfic? Does it count as a crossover? Who can say!

Title: Admirable Liknesses
Characters: John, Sherlock, Mrs. Hudson
Timeframe: pretty much any time Sherlock is bored
Genre: crack
Rating: PG
Word Count: 576
Summary: It was his custom of a summer evening to fire round my head, just shaving my face, until he had made a photograph of me on the opposite wall, and it is a slight proof of his skill that many of these portraits in pistol shots are considered admirable likenesses. - J.M. Barrie, The Adventure of the Two Collaborators
Notes: With apologies to Mr. Barrie, who did it better.

Admirable Likenesses )
fialleril: [Sherlock thinks your PWP is dull] (bored now)
I write asexual comedies that are in no way based on the germ of personal experience. No indeed. None of that here.

Maybe I should just admit defeat and call this a series. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Ace Detective. (You like what I did there? Oh the cleverness of me.) Although, if this keeps up, I'm going to need a Watson icon that says, "Damn it, I'm a doctor, not your sex ed teacher!"

All of which is to say...uh, the kink meme made me do it!

Title: Kid in a Candy Store
Characters: asexual!Sherlock, mortified!John, OC shop attendant
Genre: technically gen
Rating: PG-13, I guess, since it takes place in a sex shop. But everything that happens is pretty G.
Word Count: 1319
Summary: “I’m very disappointed in the adult world, John. Your brains are even more infantile than I’d thought.”
Warnings: sex toys, somewhat oblivious!Sherlock, and extreme amounts of embarrassment for poor John
Notes: Written for this prompt at [livejournal.com profile] sherlockbbc_fic:

Sherlock in a sex shop. Maybe it's for a case, maybe he has to replace his riding crop, maybe he's just curious... I don't care. Just have him in a sex shop poking around and asking questions to the bewildered shop assistants. May or may not include mortified John.

Somebody else suggested this should include asexual!Sherlock, and, well...this happened.

Kid in a Candy Store )
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (Holmes and Watson)
Apparently I have written a Sherlock fic. Well, two actually.

The longer one is definitely the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written (if you read this journal you already know what it's about), and I fully intend to inflict it on the world. But! I don't want to inflict my Americanisms on the world with it, so I am looking for a beta! Or a britpicker, as the kids are apparently saying these days.

Any of you Brits on the f-list interested in giving it a once over?

In the meantime, here is a much shorter fic! Because I have not seen this issue addressed in the fandom yet, and obviously someone had to.

Title: When Death Is on the Line
Characters: Holmes, Watson, the cabbie (kind of)
SPOILERS: for "A Study in Pink"
Genre: gen, crack
Rating: G
Word Count: 221B (Apparently, a Holmes-fandom style of drabble with 221 words, the last of which begins with B.)
Summary: It was painfully obvious that Sherlock had never seen The Princess Bride.
Notes: I blame this entirely on [livejournal.com profile] veriond.

When Death Is on the Line )
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (snapped)
Happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] ansketil_rose! Hope you've had a great one. :)

In celebration, I offer you this:



Adam West, you will always be the best Batman.

July 4 I guess

Sunday, July 4th, 2010 04:02 pm
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (Default)
While I am ambivalent at best about some of the actual events and reasons behind today's American celebration, this video is too gloriously absurd not to post.

fialleril: [and not even time for breakfast] (six impossible things)
Hi there, internet, I'm back from my silent retreat! What's that you say? You didn't know I was going on a silent retreat? Yes, well, that's because...well, I didn't have time to post about it, okay. Anyway, I am back now! Many enjoyable things occurred on said retreat, but I will not bore you with them here.

Suffice it to say, apparently I connect with the divine through writing crack fic. I can't say I'm really surprised.

(This is also my first ever crossover fic. Ha ha of course it is utterly ridiculous!)

It started innocently enough, with me thinking about how I've left poor Anabasis!Anakin languishing in prison, without so much as a cup of tea, for far too long. (What, you ask, can the Jedi not prepare tea? Well, yes, they can, and do. But they're under no obligation to provide it for a man who committed genocide against them.) And then, well, this happened.

Title: Mad Tzai Party (ha ha this title is THE WORST)
Fandoms: Anabasis!Star Wars and Burton!Alice in Wonderland
Characters: Anakin, Barriss, and the usual mad tea party suspects
Setting: IF this were actually to fit into the Anabasis storyline, it would be soon after the last chapter I posted. However, it is also total crack. Even if some angst did sneak in.
Summary: The thing is, Anakin really just wanted some tea.
Rating: PG? Because why not?
Notes: So, this fic will make no sense at all if you're not familiar with my Anabasis 'verse, but I think it will make sense if you haven't seen Burton's Alice. My characterization of the mad tea party-ers is based on Burton's movie, but it's general enough (and spoiler-free enough), that I think it would probably make sense with just a general pop culture familiarity with the Alice cast.

this way lies madness )
fialleril: [y'all don't know 'bout my flawless logic] (T'Pring)
I have ridiculous revelations late at night. (Shut up; 11:30 is late!) And lately they all revolve around Lady Gaga?

Out of sheer masochism, apparently, I did a search for T'Pring on DeviantArt. And, as expected, the number of pics that had "bitch" in the title was over 9000. (Actually, I tell a lie. There are only like 30 pics of her tops. Sad day.)

And while I was doing this, I happened to be listening to Lady Gaga, specifically "Bad Romance." And suddenly, it just...clicked.

T'Pring is the Lady Gaga of Vulcan.

pictorial evidence, maybe? )
fialleril: [Na-Ekkreth the trickster] (Anakin)
Another icon fic, this one for [livejournal.com profile] starfoozle.

Title: Really Bad Art, or, The Tragedy of Darth Sidious the Art Collector
Characters: Anakin and Palpatine
Timeframe: ROTS AU
Genre: Crack. Complete and utter crack, with a side of FUBAR!Anakin for good measure.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1111
Summary: Anakin objects violently to Palpatine's choice of art.

Later, they all agreed that it made a better story if truth, justice, and the Jedi way were the reasons. )
fialleril: [Hades and Persephone] (anabasis)
With Anabasis characters, for maximum lulz (hopefully).

Dramatis Personae:

1. Padmé
2. Kitster
3. Dooku
4. Riveth
5. Sabé
6. Anakin/Vader
7. Jocasta
8. Shmi
9. Obi-Wan
10. Yoda
11. Palo
12. Barriss

crackiness below )
fialleril: [tzai and fine literature] (Kitster)
Just had an epic phone conversation with [livejournal.com profile] albumsontheside, in which we discussed, among other things, the fact that Anakin is prettier in AOTC that ROTS (but Kitster is still the prettiest), the fact that Vaderkin is totally a cellist, and the fact that it is utterly amazing that no one has ever written Anakin/Bail slash. Also, we mentioned that AU!Leia should really be granted opportunities in life beyond being a politician (although that is certainly laudable - but let's see a little variety, people!), and the fact that Anakin's preference for dictatorships makes total sense, since the Jedi Order, aka the Guardians of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy™, is not exactly a paragon of democracy.

Also, [livejournal.com profile] albumsontheside may or may not have attempted to seduce me with lines about sand, but that shall remain forever a mystery.
fialleril: [Hades and Persephone] (anabasis)
This is for [livejournal.com profile] albumsontheside, who needed some cheering up. We were discussing Anabasis!Anakin's likely difficulties with résumé writing, job interviews, and the like, assuming he ever gets out of prison. :P She asked for some crack fic about such.

Well, it started out as crack anyway. It actually ended up with a bit of angst, though, because Anabasis!Anakin takes himself way too seriously, and couldn't manage to do a fic without angsting at least a little. Sabé did her best to bring the lulz, though. And ultimately this is still very much crack.

To properly set the stage for this little bit of crack, I like to imagine that Anakin has basically been lazing around Padmé's house for like six months after getting out of jail, doing nothing all day but watching soaps.

P.S. This is basically unedited beyond a quick read through, so please feel free to point out my fail!

Title: Résumé Building for Sith Lords
Characters: Anakin, Padmé, and Sabé
Universe: Anabasis!verse
Genre: Total crack
Rating: PG I guess
Word Count: 1096
Summary: Uh, see above.

this way to the crack )
fialleril: [Hades and Persephone] (anabasis)
After the epic fail contained in my last post, here is some epic win that's cheered me up. :) I got two awesome things in the mail today: an early birthday card from my grandma and a lovely little package from [livejournal.com profile] albumsontheside. Thank you darling! :D

Said package contained my very own Anakin Skywalker. Actually, according to the little "collect them all!" card that came with the Ventress [livejournal.com profile] emmaorgana sent me, this particular Anakin is really Darth Vader. (My OT loving soul finds this somewhat difficult to believe, since Darth Vader has a pretty badass life support system and sounds like James Earl Jones, but I digress. Suffice it to say that Emma and Samira both clearly know me too well.)

My Darth Vader came with a full FIVE PAGES of meticulously copied care instructions. :D Said instructions detailed, among other things, the fact that Anakin most certainly does not suffer from mental illness of any kind, and he is perfectly fine really. Also, he apparently has a number of scars that are frighteningly similar to Anabasis!Anakin's scars, and make me wonder if [livejournal.com profile] albumsontheside has been sneaking peeks at my notes again. ;)

Speaking of which, this kid could practically be Anabasis!Anakin: he just needs to lose the scar over his eye and the mechanical hand, get a haircut, and acquire some better fashion sense! (Also, a red lightsaber.)

I feel that it is patently dangerous to have Anakin and Ventress together in the same house, let alone the same room (especially since said Anakin reminds me so much of his Anabasis incarnation), but for now they appear to have called a truce in favor of threatening me to make me write more fic. Anakin is demanding he get a happy story, for once. (Actually, I tell a lie. He's Anabasis!Anakin, and what he really wants is to kill Obi-Wan, but I'm not going to let him.)



And yes, I am completely aware of the irony of the fact that Anakin and Ventress are standing on either side of an icon of Lady Wisdom and her daughters Faith, Hope, and Love.
fialleril: [a bit like The Idiot, only written by someone much less talented than Dostoevsky] (Jar Jar Binks)
And I feel the need to share.

Okay, so I've been on a Disney kick lately. And you know they say that anyone who messes with Disney can destroy your childhood. But when Disney does it themselves? Eh, I dunno. It's kind of glorious, actually.

I think Hades/Maleficent is now my ultimate Disney OTP.

And also, I never want to see Hades dressed as Mickey Mouse again. But it's already too late. I think I've been scarred for life. And you all should be too, so have the video.

House of Mouse video under the cut )

If this keeps up I'm going to need a Disney icon.
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (team fail)
I thought about making you icons for your birthday, but then I thought this would be more fun. Crackfic ideas about Jedi as superheroes are always appreciated, right?

(If my sense of humor fails, though, just say, and I will make you icons instead!)

I present to you The Adventures of Dragon Man and Techno Boy )
fialleril: [the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation] (team fail)
So, y'all remember that part in TPM when Qui-Gon walks into Watto's junk shop, and finds out that Watto doesn't take Republic credits, and then completely fails to ask where the local money-changer can be found, despite the fact that he's in a large spaceport? Yeah, that part. Okay, here's a story.

Qui-Gon walks into the first junk shop he finds. He's not wild about being there, and you can tell by the look on his face. The shop owner comes flying up to him, chattering away in some language he can't understand. Qui-Gon gives a put-upon sigh.

"Hello," he says, slowly and loudly. "Does anyone here speak English?"

"Oh, American, eh?" Watto says. "Well, waddaya need?"

Qui-Gon tells him, and they go out back. Watto has the part, but Qui-Gon is dismayed to find that he doesn't take American Express. He doesn't take travelers checks, either. Barbarian. Qui-Gon doesn't have any pesos, so he leaves the shop. Apparently it never occurred to him to ask where he could find an ATM.

After he's gone, Watto mutters a disgusted, "Gringos" under his breath. Anakin shrugs and says, "I dunno, I thought the girl was pretty cute."

Later Anakin offers to let Qui-Gon's party stay at his house, mostly because the girl is pretty cute. Shmi begs Qui-Gon to take Anakin back to America with him and give him a better life. (She knows that she could just tell Qui-Gon about the ATM, but if he's not smart enough to ask, she's not going to miss this opportunity.)

So Anakin goes to America. He thought he was going to have a really swank life, but instead he ends up...well, in the military. And he doesn't even get to send any money home to Mom.

Yeah. You guys, Qui-Gon is such an American tourist.

No offense is meant to anyone with this post. It just suddenly struck me how well these scenes fit the stereotypes, and I had to share.
fialleril: [another armed occupation is not freedom] (start the revolution)
I'm finally back in the land of the living, but it was a near thing for a while. I managed to come down with a flue during dead week and finals week, the same time when everything was due. But I turned in my last final on Tuesday (German translation - UGH!), had the AAR holiday party that afternoon, and then hopped a plane to Springfield on Wednesday. So now I'm writing this from my sister's dorm room computer. We're headed home tomorrow.

But I'm sure no one is interested in any of that, so let's talk fandom things! On Wednesday night [livejournal.com profile] veriond and I finally got caught up on the Clone Wars episodes.

Kit Fisto's voice is here to have sex with you )
fialleril: [my eyes are yours; they are not blue, but they're wide open] (martyr Kitster)
To make up for my epic fail at the music meme, I give you this crack pairing meme instead.

Pick 10 characters from as many fandoms as you wish. Answer 18 questions.

I decided to do Anabasis characters, mainly because that's what I was trying to do for the music meme. And I alphabetized them just because.

1. Anakin
2. Barriss
3. Dooku
4. Jocasta
5. Kitster
6. Obi-Wan
7. Padmé
8. Palo
9. Riveth
10. Sabé

questions and ensuing lulz are under here )

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